I meant to post this yesterday but then my internet decided to shut down on me. Lucky, it was saved as a draft. December 3, 2009

<InTrOdUcTiOn
It’s been too long! Too long, I say, since my last post.

Sorry ’bout that!

I’m also going to try and make my blog entries a little more interesting/organized by adding sub-headings.

The Semi-Formal Dance
There will be a semi-formal dance at my school on Friday and all of my friends are going with their boyfriends. I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never even slow-danced with a guy.

It’s not that I’ve never had crushes; it’s just that I’ve never advertised myself to guys or ever let any of them know I liked them, even in a subtle way. I try not to flirt and I tend to not tell, like, anyone about who I have a crush on. I guess I’m what you’d call, “hard-to-get”. I’d rather have a guy ask me out. And so far, none have!

I’m okay with that, for the most part. I’m used to it. I’m used to people raising their eyebrows when I tell them I’ve never had a boyfriend. But this is _______ (insert name of my town here). Everyone here has dated before, it seems.

My little brother had a girlfriend when he was 9 or 10. (He’s 11 now.)

I am also obligated to go, since I’m on the student’s council. And I’m excited about it. I have a dress bought, and it is PERFECT for me. It’s about knee-length and it’s one shoulder and black. I’m going to try to make my look either flapper-inspired or Audrey Hepburn inspired. Probably Audrey, since my Gramma lent me a couple of her pearl necklaces and my Mum lent me pearl earrings that I wore for Halloween when I was Audrey.

Anyway, I’m going to be absolutely beautiful, whether or not I have a guy beside me.

As long as I have some friends to hang out with who aren’t intermingled with their boyfriends the whole night [making me feel left out/akward/uncomfortable] I will be perfectly fine.

I addressed this issue at pathfinders, and they all reassured me that there’s power in being single and that ‘it’ll be right when it’s right’.

I really love these people.

Plus, the girl who has a new boyfriend every couple of weeks wasn’t there.

Whatever. I’m going to look my best, and stand as tall as I can, and be as happy as I can, and hope for the best.

The Dentist
Went to the dentist on Tuesday. I brought in a book about ghosts and the dentist asked me if I was a ‘believer’. I told her yes. I got free toothpaste, floss, a toothbrush, and then I got to pick out a toy from the toychest. I picked out a little ring with a flower on it. I’m turn fifteen on the twenty-ninth of this month.

Crying at the movies

I saw ‘My Sister’s Keeper’ (my mum rented it for a mother-daughter movie night) sometime within the past week and I cried like CRAZY. I was basically having hysterics.

I have come to realize lately that over the years I have grown emotionally stronger, and that I can handle a lot more without crying nowadays. That is, in reality.

When I watch a mushy movie or a Rememberance Day assembly or something like that, I tend to sob uncontrollably. (For crying out loud, tears come to my eyes when I see the “When You’re Gone” music video or the SickKids or the Princess Margaret Hospital commercials.)

In fourth grade [approximately] I cried at everything. I cried if I got a C+ on a test. And you know, I’m trying to think of something else unreasonable to list that I cried about, but I cannot. I know I cried a lot, but I guess I had a really depressing childhood.

But now I’m stronger. I currently have a 58% in mathematics and although I’m terrified for it, I haven’t cried about it.

I mean, I had an emotional breakdown yesterday, but that was about a science test my mother wanted me to stay home from pathfinders to study for. I was pretty confident with the the content of the test then, and now, after the test, I’m thinking that much of the test was actually fairly simple. Or I could be wrong.

The Moon and Mars
Questions of the day:
If you could take 6 people to Mars with you (a year on the shuttle and a year on the planet), who would you want to take with you?
And, if you were given the option someday, would you live on the moon? I hear they found water on the moon a few weeks ago. LOTS of water. Google even changed their logo for the day for it and everything.

Life can be tough sometimes, but I’ll make it through. It’s all worth it.

Sincerely,
Alex Violet

PS Don’t get me wrong, appearance and boyfriends aren’t everything to me. Really and truly. But sometimes it feels like those areas of my life are under a microscope.

A Glimpse November 15, 2009

This is a video of me (sitting in the lawn chair at the start) and my little brother, Mathew (behind the shed yelling bear noises at the start).
I posted this video on YouTube about July 2008 (the summer before ninth grade, I believe. I was thirteen, Mathew was … nine, I think?).
It was about a year and a half ago, I believe. It feels like it was longer, though.
There’s been a lot that’s happened since then.

I started high school.
I won an art award.
I went through 9 exams.
I went camping at a beautiful provincial park with the student’s council.
I gained like, 10 of some of my best friends in the world at pathfinders.
I got a facebook account.
I got a blog.
I’ve attempted to finish writing several novels.
I got an iPod.
I went ‘out west’ for the third time in my life.
I visited Vancouver for the first time in my life.
I dipped my feet in the Pacific ocean.
I went to my first high school dance.
I went to Niagara Falls on a (geography class) field trip with some really great people and got in trouble with the teachers because we brought too much sugary pop and chips for our own good and all had sugar rushes at midnight.
I had the time of my life in Dinner Theatre.
I discovered a secret passageway in my school’s proproom hidden behind shelves.
I invented the word ‘AWESOMAZING’.
I’ve made a zillion more people laugh.
I joined my city’s youth council.
I met the mayor.
I discovered Twilight a few weeks after the above video was filmed.
I’ve come to terms with myself. (I am not so ashamed of who I am anymore. Because I am awesomazing.)
I spent a night in a haunted hotel.
I contacted a ghost. (One of my BFF’s birthday party. Her place was haunted so we pretended to be like TAPS.)
I sang ‘Tomorrow’ (from Annie) at the top of my lungs in the middle of a forest while cleaning an outhouse.
I sang ‘Tomorrow’ (from Annie) at the top of my lungs in the middle of a forest with some of my very best friends.
I have learned that everything has flaws but that doesn’t mean it isn’t beautiful and perfect by all means.
My kitten turned three years old.
I discovered that I truly would prefer world peace over all the money in the world anyday.
I have done way more than I ever thought I would and today it has occured to me that the past two years of my life have been worth every second, and I wouldn’t change anything at all.
I really truly wouldn’t.

HELLO. July 14, 2009

I know it sounds like I’m making excuses for lack of entries but my internet was down for a little while because the modem we had was a little too old to work anymore so we had to get it replaced, which took long enough for me.

Anyway what I’ve been up to lately…

Another book I’m reading! The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart. I’m not quite halfway through the book right yet but I’m really liking it.

And a book I’ve been writing lately is an novel inspired by the Twelfth Night by Shakespeare. And I don’t plan on considering on publishing this one but it’s fun to write anyway. But it’s also quite difficult to write considering I, being the person I am, automatically started writing this from Viola’s point of view in first person. This makes writing it extremely difficult due to all the sub-plots and dramatic irony and you know, scenes that happen with Viola not even there! So, I think I’ll have to go with alternating points of view.

Shakespeare was truly genius.

Anyway, volunteered at a library program yesterday and had to get up early for another one today. It was actually a lot of fun but I had to have a nap once I got home. I recognized this one girl from pathfinders. Not exactly pathfinders, but a flyup because she was only in brownies. Friendly person, (not saying a name) she told me at the flyup that I should be a brownie leader. Which, you know, kind of made my day.
And just something I thought I should say, if you have no idea what the heck I’m talking about with all this ‘pathfinders’ and ‘brownies’ talk, check out this website (the Girl Guides of Canada website) to figure it all out. Easier than me explaining everything. The age groups have changed a little over the years for girl guides and the sort. (I was reading some old guiding book from, like, the seventies recently and it shocked me how different it really was, and honestly, I felt a bit envious in a way that there were actually you know, patrols that would be filled up fast. They treated girl guides like it was the most popular thing around. When today, people see girl guides as those little kiddies who just hike and sell good cookies. Too much work for kid’s today.)

Yeah, so I made this new goal to watch the sunset as often as possible and it worked out for about 2 days last week and so now I’m trying to revieve this goal. But it is setting about … now.

So I got to go.
Bye!

Sincerely,
Alex Violet.

Can’t Buy Me Love – The Beatles July 1, 2009

Can’t buy me love is the name of the Beatles’ song playing in my headphones right now, and was the first song I bought out of the jukebox at the bowling alley with pathfinders yesterday. I’ve gotto tell you, it’s been stuck in my head for the past (approximately) 4 days, and I will never be sick of it! My GOLLY! I love the Beatles (the other songs I picked from the jukebox were Dancing Queen and We Will Rock You!) I was so rockin’ out with my friends there. It was pretty amazing, and I’m not just saying that because I told them to read my blog. LOL.

No, but seriously. When I’m hanging out with the pathfinder peoples, I feel free to be me, and that no matter how crazy and over-enthusiastic I act, they’ll all love having me around anyways

Anyways, I would love to wish Canada a happy birthday today =D . I love every year on July first when there’s concerts in the park, facepainting, and fireworks by the water. I was born here, I belong here

My current mood: belonging.

Hello world! June 20, 2009

Well, this is my first post… how exciting! But I really don’t know what to say… there’s a lot of pressure to make this first entry good…
I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Alex. I’m a girl. I love movies and acting and writing. I sometimes feel like I live a life of different roles- when I’m in math class I’m the creative one who’s personality is being smothered into almost mute. When I’m with pathfinders (girl guides for an older age group) I’m the whimsical, comedic loud one who doesn’t have many thoughts that are left unsaid.

And writing that last paragraph I was being was more sophisticated with my language than I really am in person. Sometimes I do that unintentionally.

Sorry, I’ll write more later. My brother needs to get on the computer.