Dignity. October 25, 2009

You’d think that a human being would be able to try their best without being critisized and proclaimed a failure.

Sometimes I feel like a teacher I know is the type of person that picks away at a person’s flaws until there is nothing left to degrade you. Then, when they have nothing left to complain about, they create it. They object to what little power you have left in you.

It’s like being held up like a pinata and beaten to the ground. Instead of taking the candy and rejoicing about it, they beat it too. They beat it into little bits until there is absolutely nothing left of you.

They are too lazy to come up with their own questions for you, so they assign you twenty questions out of the textbook. When you don’t finish them, they call you a typical lazy teenager.

They are always disappointed with the star pupil and not-so-subtly hint that everyone else is stupid.

They hold every person up to impossible standards. Metaphorically, you are expected to pole-jump over a bar raised halfway to the moon.

These people cannot possibly be satisfied.

I am satisfied in the fact that I won’t end up like that.

I’m going to try my best to work with this teacher, since they won’t be a main character in my life for very long, and if I do end up failing this course, at least I’ll have tried my stinkin’ best.

If I fail doing my very best, at least I will still have my dignity.

Besides, giving up would guarantee failure.

And I, Alex Violet, don’t want to give up. It’s against my philosophy.

Off to try my best,

Alex Violet.

How do they do it? October 10, 2009

This song is by a girl named Valerie: toiltpprprdctns on YouTube. It’s incredibly catchy and a good happy-dance song.

WARNING: This is going to be one of those really long and thought-provoking entries that I go off rambling quite a bit in. My English teacher last year said I should learn to centre my thoughts a bit better. So click ‘more’ if you’re really up for reading it all.

I have now officially had this blog for one month. July 20, 2009

WARNING: If you find reading about deep topics (like me talking about finding true love, what happens

Okay, I wrote this in my journal a few days ago, and it’s pretty personal but I decided to type it up here anyway. It’s the sort of thing I’d tell only my best friends.
But first you should know that I have never had a boyfriend. (It’s just that no one ever asked me or anything. But when I tell people they seem surprised and give me awkward, baffled looks. Is this a compliment?) So here it is:

I was listening to the song from the Ritz commercial today (it’s called “When I go”. You know, the one that goes, “If we’re both not married by 23, will you make my year, ask me?”) and it made me think: if I don’t get married by the time I get old, will I have a guy friend who’s a great enough guy to be a backup husband?
I don’t mind waiting for a guy to come along and be The One for me, I just want to know that I’m actually waiting for The One.
Maybe that’s what I’d ask a phsycic if the occasion of meeting one ever happens. (Or meeting one that knows it.)

I think once my journal is filled I’ll put it in a time capsule or pass it down in my family. Maybe someone will want to read it.

Anyway, I’m not sure if you can really tell yet after only, (?) entries, but I’m not exactly your conventional-thinking teenager. I don’t think most girls wonder about the meaning of everything everyday. Or if they do they don’t seem to make it publicly known. Sometimes this makes me feel a little alone.
But that’s alright. My friends and I sometimes talk about stuff like that.

(A) Random Thought(s):
I believe in heaven and reincarnation as well as ghosts and angels and guardian angels. (And a lot more I guess.) I’ve heard people say their theories about who a person will be in their ‘next life’ and I was wondering, does anything about a person not change in their next life? Maybe they’ve always been… let’s say… brave or something like that. Or maybe they’ve always had something like phsycic ability or they’ve been one of those people that talks a mile-a-minute and talks with their hands. (I do that sometimes, but only if I’m really into a conversation. You should see how animated I get.) Or maybe they’ve always been naturally left-handed. (I meant ‘naturally’ as in instincively- I know how left-handedness has been frowned upon throughout history and so people have been forced out of it.) (Useless yet interesting fact of the day: Paul McCartney plays guitar left-handed, and -according to Wikipedia- Barack Obama is left-handed as well as that David Henrie guy from Wizards of Waverly Place)

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you experience something new that somehow feels familiar? (like if you’ve seen the Great Barrier Reef or a specific painting for the first time but somehow it feels like you’ve been here or seen this before, and not just on TV.)

I’m sorry if it seems like I’m rambling on about some pretty deep, religious stuff, but I just thought it seems interesting to read about what other people believe or ponder the more philosophical questions in life.

Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and their own thoughts, their voice and their questions.

ANYWAY, I had a pretty good day so far. I volunteered at a library program and we played clue. My group came in second with that. And then we played Catchphrase and then Scattergories. Which is so clearly awesomazing since I love (and rock mostly at) Catchphrase. Scattergories I’m even better at. We came in second place (1st was ahead of us by ONE point!) at Scattergories. I also enjoy the game Balderdash but we did not play that today. (I always win that game. Even though I have only played it a couple of times.)

Here is the thing I learned today:
Sometimes laughter can make a person feel better/less stressed. Also, volunteering at the library is a lot more fun than you’d think. And also that there is a “study room” and a “loading room” in the library. Yeah, the last one was what I really learned. The other two facts I knew already.

And Happy Faces Make People Happy. (Or Happier. )

I love comedy.

I know I’m weird, but I have more fun that way, so why would I think that’s a bad thing?

Sincerely,
Alexandra Violet!