Why am I so happy?

April 11, 2010

I don’t have the time for a longer post, but I’ve got something I feel I need to say.

Why am I so happy, when I, myself, write depressing sonnets about the world around me metaphorically crashing down? When everyone is telling me I can’t do something or I won’t do something or I’m not somebody and take every oppourtunity to prove me wrong, why haven’t I just given up already?

I’ve got big dreams and always have had them. I thought I’d be more legendary by now. (No kidding; I put a lot of pressure on myself.) Especially in the broken town I live in. Here, there’s practically no oppourtunity to be monumentous.

So I try to take every single oppourtunity that I see.

Maybe I should be cheesed off at the world around me for being the way it is, and maybe I should be sitting around complaining about it like every other teenager in [insert name of my town here] seems to be. Maybe I should be emo since I’ve probably considered enough of the world to make me that way.

But I’m not; I’m not because I’m doing something about it.

I haven’t lost hope that I’m going somewhere notable with my life.

Last year I was admittedly sad to not see my face in the yearbook as much as I wanted. I either wasn’t social enough or not in enough clubs.

So what did I do? Well, I’m going to surrender and say that last semester I didn’t really do much. (I signed up for Students’ Council, but that’s about it. I was mostly focussed on pulling up my mark in math class.) It’s as if my soul was hibernating, but this semester woke it up.

On the first day of the semester, I was so excited for all these classes I have (my first semester was the toughie, with math and civics/careers, science and vocals- civics/careers would’ve been bearable if I had a more pleasant teacher and friends in the class, science more bearable had I not sat in the back corner of the class and rendered mute since no one talked to me, and vocals would’ve been better if it wasn’t a class with several grades lumped together and also if I had more positive and supportive friends taking the class with me) that I almost peed my pants. And I realized that for a first time in something like a year that I didn’t have a headache once the day was over. This is what high school is supposed to be like.

I’m living in my days again instead of moping through them. Because I know, that as bad as the times get (and there will ALWAYS be bad times in life) those times will fade as long as I work to keep myself out of them. I’d rather do something about my problems than complain about them.

I refuse to live in the shadows anymore.

So I work hard and thrive on everyday achievements.

When Franz Ferdinand was victim of a terrorist attack, a world war was started.

When the entire World Trade Centre was victim of a terrorist attack, much of the city rushed to help and the much of the world showed their sympathies. (Okay, and maybe another war began, but not a world war, right? And really, whether or not you’re willing to point it out, George Bush was, indeed, president of the United States at the time.)

You see, everyone has their misfortunes, their trageties. It’s all in how you react.

So don’t loose faith and don’t mope around, because your wildest dreams are right there waiting for you to reach up and grab them. Even if it means you have to gather and pile a thousand chairs atop of one another. If it’s worth enough to you, you won’t hold back.

“A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships.” – Helen Keller

“Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” -(also) Helen Keller

My motto to being happy: Either get over it or do something about it. Sitting around is something stereotypical teenagers do.

Maybe this is why I sign up for so many clubs and councils. I need to do something worth being proud of. 🙂

Alex Violet


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