What if… (and stuff)

Alright, maybe this is random, but I was reading over my previous blog post today about my happy place and I thought of something. One of those “what if…” somethings.

What if everything – humanity, life, Earth, our universe, the galaxy, all the constellations, the stars, the possibility… the ‘dark matter’ and all beyond that… what if it’s contained in this giant ball? What if everything we know of is contained inside somebody else’s much larger planet?

Sorry for the lack of elaboration and detail.

In my science class last year we talked about atoms. (Because that’s what you do in science.) One kid said he believed that the universe was a giant atom. Once he said it I thought immediately, why not? The structure of an atom isn’t all that different from the structure of our solar system… there’s the nucleus/sun and the planets/protons/electrons revolving around it.

What if infinite is not so much a concept of space going on forever, but of all these different dimensions going on forever?

Atoms within atoms…

I saw something at the beggining of a Simpsons episode like that.

Yeah, like that. I’m sure some genius already came up with that theory but all I’m saying is it makes sense… doesn’t it? It can’t be proven wrong and it can’t be proven right… yet. So why not?

I’ve got to get up early tomorrow morning to go sell Girl Guide cookies at the Sears with pathfinders. I know that Brianna will be going to the morning shift but I’m not sure who else. After that, my Daddy is picking me up with Buddy and we’re going to spend the rest of the weekend together.

I’m so excited. Pretty much all week I’ve been jumping up and down out of nowhere telling my friends, “MY DADDY IS COMING THIS WEEKEND.”

“I know, you already told me.”

So yeah.

And I walked home from school today with Smiley (BFF) who I haven’t talked to all that much since the March break, really. She told me she’s been helping out with this thing for Haiti at lunch (she told me on Wednesday, I think) so I decided to go with her to help out when I have the time. (So of course that only means two days of the week: Thursdays and Fridays.) On this walk home I expected we would catch up on lost talking time but no, not really. I tried to make conversation but it = failed attempts at the start.

The thing is, I pretty much tell Smiley everything. Every memory I have, every opinion I have, every thought that passes through my mind. Smiley knows ALL. So often when I try to say something to make conversation, I always get,

“I know, you already told me.”

I absolutely loathe it when conversation runs dry. And so after plenty of awkward silence I said, “What’s with all this me talking and you replying with, like, two-word answers?”

“Because… I’m awesome.”

“Okay, three words doesn’t really make a difference.”

-Silence as we walk on further.-

“Hey have I told you about the vampire story I’m working on?”

“Not much.”

“Do you want to hear about it?”

“Couldn’t hurt.”

So in order to extend conversation, I explain EVERY detail that I remember, only cutting back to summarize insignificant parts. I tell her who said what when and point out how much manners a character has and why and how they grew up and all they remember of their life.

I’ve got until something like the fifth scene in (which’s maybe half what I have so far, more or less; I have 67 pages written so far) when we get close to her place (I’ve always lived farthest from any of my schools than all my friends) she asks if I’m thirsty or anything.

“Yes, I’ve been talking all this time, my throat’s getting sore.”

And so we get to her place and she offers me a water bottle from the fridge and I say thank you. She says my story seems really interesting so far. I say if she’d like to read it, I could put an updated copy on my memory stick (those USB things, whatever) and lend it to her after J. (yes, my friend from yoga club) has given it back. (J. wanted to read my story but I think she got bored after the first scene and is too kind to admit it. She tried giving back the memory stick after a few days and I said, “Well, aren’t you finished it?” “Well, no.” And then I said she could keep it until she finished it if she wanted. So without enthusiasm she put it back in her pocket. I asked her later -as in a week later- if she’d been reading it and what she thought of it. She slowly admitted she honestly hadn’t read any more of it since.)

Well, there’s going to be the odd person who doesn’t so much like my story. But what the hell. I do. SOMEBODY else has to. So who cares?

So yeah. That’s life.

OH YEAH. And I’m going on a feild trip on Monday with History. Yeah. Have to be at school by a quarter to seven. (!) Getting a ride with Smiley since she’s going on the trip too but with her class. I’ve got so many assignments due Monday but thank goodness no one told the teachers there’s going to be a trip that day so we’ll have to be a day late. (They usually make you hand it in early if you tell them.)

So yeah. THAT’S the insanely awesomazing life of ME.

Alex Violet

Believe Anything is Possible

No, you’re not going crazy. You did not miss the other sonnets, I just never really posted them. Well, I posted one of them. But still.
Here’s another.

Meaning of Life
By Alex Violet

This world is a thousand jumps, learning to fly;
Awaiting on the day flight replaces fall.
So many times I have asked ‘why’,
Only to realize there is no meaning at all.
Who says you need a reason to want to be glad?
No one really knows what’s good for us after the end.
But I know I don’t want to live my life always mad.
I try to live it to the fullest, praying I’ll be a legend
Like the ones that make history and stretch possibility.
Who says you need a single bold meaning,
To live every second with pronounced dignity,
When every little thing brings you the feeling:
That even if this is all there is to it,
Maybe or even definitely, it’s 100% worth it.

Sorry if I offended anyone. Really and truly, I’m pretty sure I believe in heaven. Maybe not hell, though. I would think if you make (a) mistake(s), God would give you a second chance and you might be reincarnated over and over again. My dad once told me that there was a religion where they believed that the later your birthday was in the year, the more times you’d been reincarnated.

But really, I don’t mean to dictate my belief(s) to anyone. With that poem, I just meant to say that life is worth everything, every mistake and adventure and thing to be proud of.

Even if there isn’t anything after it, (I’m not saying there is, I’m not saying there isn’t) then “maybe or even definitely, it’s 100% worth it.”

I’m saying not to be afraid of indulgence, because no one truly KNOWS (we believe, we don’t know) what happens after this. (‘This’ being a living being’s life span.)

I’m sorry I didn’t write so much throughout the week, but I’ve actually been getting out of the apartment. I went on several walks, yesterday a 2-hour one with my friend and her sister around their neighbourhood. I very much love their neighbourhood as it is one with several farms and old-ish houses. (Some, I said, are haunted.) It was brutally warm out, but the breeze made it a zillion times better.
The day before that, Buddy and I played a couple of playground games with three neighbourhood kids. We played Grounders, Sardines, and Emperor. Before Emperor, some jerks who used to bully Buddy last year came around and started calling us (us as in all of us playing playground games) nerds at the top of their lungs.
So I yelled back, “DAMN RIGHT, BUT WE’RE THE AWESOMAZINGEST NERDS YOU’LL EVER MEET!!!”
And Buddy backed me up.

So overall I’ve been having a great week and tomorrow I’m going to visit my Grandparents. Who rule, by the way.

Alex Violet

SEMESTER TWO OF TENTH GRADE

The week just finished was the first week I had of semester 2.

These are my classes:
Period 1: Gr. 10 Academic English
Period 2: Gr. 10 Drama
Period 3: Lunch. 😀
Period 4: Gr. 10 Art
Period 5: Gr. 10 Academic History

These are all areas that I am INCREDIBLY talented at. For serious. I’m so going to have, like, a 88% average by mid-terms.

On the first morning (Tuesday- Monday was a PA Day) back, I was so freaking excited that I almost peed my pants. For serious.

I’m not sure where I first heard ‘For serious’, but I’m thinking it’s going to be my new catchphrase. You see, I go through catchphrase phases. Right now I’m trying to get ‘ace’ to be said along with ‘epic’. It’s easy to start these trends with my friends, because they’re the sort of people who think it’s fun to start trends.

Like “awesomazing”. I made a facebook group dedicated for people who use the word “awesomazing” in the summer. I think there were 8 when school started and today I checked and there were 45. (!) Most of them I didn’t even know in person!!!! 😀

Anyway, I’m getting off-topic, but that’s okay.

Now I’m going to tell you all about my awesomazing classes. 🙂

ENGLISH
We’re supposed to read Romeo & Juliet; To Kill a Mockingbird; and also Lord of the Flies. And we will be writing lots and lots. Which is GREAT!!! I love to write. Well, obviously. I write a blog, right? Last year in academic English I got a 84% and I know I probably could have tried harder.
But supposedly the teacher I had before was an easy marker and this one is a harsh marker. On those little sheets we’re supposed to fill out with little things about ourselves (our fav. classes; hobbies; and what our goal mark for this class is) I wrote that I expected at least an 80% of myself.
This is going to be much, much fun. I can tell. The teacher has a sense of humour, that’s why. Also, I’m not sitting alone in the back of the class like I sometimes tend to do. I sit in the centre column one desk up from the front, and someone sits beside me. And they aren’t a terrible person either.

DRAMA
Originally, I think this class had around 16 people in it, a cute little group to begin with. Then like, 5 people switched out. So stagefright is minimized, sort of.
Speaking of stagefright, I’m thinking I’ll just ignore it this time, like I did last year. Last year I was trying to prove to myself that I CAN act, no matter what anyone says. In elementary school, I got practically straight B-minuses in this subject. Last year I pulled of 90%. I think I mentioned this before. Several times. Sorry. But I will never get tired of bragging.
It’s a different teacher this year, one that’s more into the theoretical side of drama than the actual acting side of it. But it’s fine, since I love theoretical discussions.
And every day we do games (“vocal excersises, physical excersises, etc.” she calls them) and things like trust falls. And my antisocialism won’t affect anything, either, since I’ve known some of them since elementary/middle school. (For the record- I refer to gr. 7 & 8 as middle school since it was a different school than the one I went to during gr.6 and all years before that.)
And each time the teacher makes us pair up with someone new, who’s not our “best friend in the class”. So this time, people actually approach me, like I always wanted. But now I also don’t have fear of picking someone random, either.

ART
My teacher for grade 9 art was the best- she was all “take your time,” and “it doesn’t have to be perfect, no matter what you do it will be a masterpiece”. On all the sketchbook drawings I handed in, she marked them ten out of ten. Except for the last one, which I didn’t do. (No time.)
Then, as you know, she gave me the grade 9 art award. 🙂
This year I was supposed to get the other art teacher who I don’t know very well.
But when they handed me my schedule Tuesday morning, I did a double-take.
Oh my God. Thank you. I was almost going to pee myself again. I have the awesome teacher again! It’s as if all my brutal suffering of last semester pulled off! The fates are on my side!!! 😀
I’m expecting maybe an 86% in this class. I got 80% last year because I suck at clay.

HISTORY
We did an assignment on Thursday that was about one page front and back and a third of another page.
It was open-textbook and she gave us the page numbers.
I got like, a 97% on it.
In order to be exempt from the history exam, you need at least an 80% going into the exam. When I first head about this exemption policy, I was ecstatic. For serious. I’ve made a vow to pull off something way above that. And one I got the assignment back, I thought, NINETY!!!

This is going to be an AWESOMAZING semester.

My bladder told me so. 🙂

The awesomazing and ecstatic,
Alex Violet

P.S. I should probably tell you about my favourite feeling in the world.

I walked through the doors every morning this week with the thought in my mind, this is the way high school is supposed to be, and I am NOT as stupid as semester one made me feel!!!

Singing for the heck of it

Some of my favourite memories and countless inside jokes are from pathfinder camp.

Take last camp, for example. It was in the most recent fall.

We were alotted (sp?) some free time near dinner (I don’t remember if it was before or after) and so me, my tent buddies (who shall be referred to as Brianna, Olivia, and A. until I consult them to see what they want to be called on my blog), and a friendly girl guide (grade 6 I believe- shall be referred to as R.) were doing a little bit of a sing-a-long in the back room of the only cabin at our usual campsite. (I’ve only ever slept there once: we were going to sleep in the lean-to but then it started pouring rain and it was uninhabitable.)

It was great! I could sing at the top of my lungs to Tomorrow from Annie and some of my closest friends would sing along with me/harmonize (whatever you call it) and we made it sound wonderful.

Seriously. Broadway would be JEALOUS. Either that or they’d be trying to recruit us. 😛

Not to be concieted or anything. I really and truly believe that that day I was singing better than I ever have in my life.

I was at the epitome of happiness!

I was so happy, I volunteered to clean the outhouses. I even sang Tomorrow while in the process. Smiling, mind you.

Nothing could get me down, and we sang all sorts of songs besides Tomorrow. Like: I’m gonna be (500 miles) by the Proclaimers, The Eye of the Tiger, and I think we sang some High School Musical, too. There were a lot more, really, (we sang, like, half the songs I know and love) but I don’t remember them all.

We were in the middle of the forest, really far out of the way from anyone who I would be nervous singing in front of. Which I honestly think affected the confidence in my voice.

I love pathfinders, I can be whoever the heck I want to be and they love me no matter how crazy and spontaneous I act. Which is very.

I believe that’s because in my third year of pathfinders, someone I knew from guides ‘flew up’ to pathfinders (to be referred to as R.-L.). This person had known me as outspoken when we were in guides together, so I felt like I had that role back. I had to be the person this person knew me to be.

Except now I was happier. Millions of times happier. (For those of you that don’t know; I was depressed and bullied a lot in grade 6, which was my last year of guides.)
So, being happier, I could be the spontaneous, loud, outspoken, honest but kind person I always wanted to be.

So thank you, R.-L. You probably don’t read my blog, but thank you anyway. And thank you EVERYBODY from pathfinders who gives me confidence and who are some of my very best friends.

And thank YOU, my dear friend, for reading. 🙂

Truly and forever,

🙂 Alex Violet 🙂

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players”
-Shakespeare