Maybe I’m scarred for life… or blessed with the truth. Pt. 2

-FAIR WARNING- THIS ENTRY IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART! THERE ARE DISTURBING PHOTOS BELOW

Notice I put pt. 1 on the previous post. (If you haven’t, check out part one or else you’ll be lost.)

That was because I wasn’t finished with my point(s) but still wanted to post something before pathfinders.

Later today, all those slides of the starved-to-death corpses still fresh in my mind, I was looking at some blogs I’m following.

One of them, is a blog about fashion. (For those of you that don’t know, I sort of have a passion for fashion.)

Obviously, where there’s fashion, there are models. And where there are models, there’s going to be eating disorders, like anorexia and bulimia.

It occurred to me that THIS:

Is really not much different from THIS:

It’s just that one of them is more commonly known as art while the other is more commonly known as torture to the death.

I couldn’t look at the “art” one for very long since at first glance I immediately looked at those prominent ribcages and associated it with the other images.

So, being the Alex that I am, I wrote a sonnet about it. (#13) Here it is:

We are all guilty of the loving scare;
To build up on “I can do this” and “I’m not afraid.”
But is it really all that pretty when you’re loosing all your hair,
With your ribcage on display and your integrity frayed?
People following your path will reach a dead end.
Whether they fall far enough could save their life,
Yet you jump willing – like it’s a game of pretend.
You could yell, resist but run under the knife…
I can’t watch you do this, it’s suicide.
You mistrust and deny the true open mind;
You need more compassion than your lonely world will provide.
No one there has seen how real it gets when no one is kind:
The crisis and trenches and malnurished dead bodies.
When will you see that your life is worth no commodity?

I’ve got a lot going through my mind today from all this.

I personally, have never had any problems with eating disorders, but I’ve known of people to go through it. The worst I’ve had is eating too much junk food and becoming a bit of a hermit/couch potato. I try to work on getting outside more often and eating healthy now because I know I’ll feel better and I’ll thank myself later.

It isn’t about being thin or fat, it’s about being healthy, full of life.

“All that lives is holy.”

Life is beautiful.

In other news, I’m on page 62 (approximately) of the vampire novel I’m writing. I’ve told a couple of my new friends (!) about my story and one asked to read it and another promised to buy it when it’s published. 🙂

I’ve got a long way to go, but I can still sensing that dream within walking (running?) distance. I’m going to achieve it this time. I’ve got to.

Alex Violet

This is what weirdness lurks in my life.

I’m going to start off with another sonnet. It is my ninth one and I call it Inescapeable Darkness. It’s sort of about my town and sort of about everyone’s quickness to enlist in the military before they even know what they’re getting into. Just because you’re killing the enemy doesn’t mean you’re not killing people.

Inescapeable Darkness
Alex Violet

Everywhere I hear gunshots, see bruises.
“Violence is not the answer,” I’ve always been told;
But then, “not everything can be solved with spit-shakes and truces.”
No sum or price should life behold,
Yet there are those persuaded without speaking a word.
You cannot stand alone, your spirit, it won’t allow;
So you do what is natural: you follow the heard.
Not to your wrongdoings but intentions, I bow.
When the media’s messages are so hypocritical,
Who the hell, what the hell are you supposed to believe?
For you, trust is natural, but I’ve become cynical.
The growing wounds of Earth aren’t so quick to revive.
When you can’t run away from others’ tears,
Who’s to say it won’t take over, your fears?

I think my poetry is starting to become darker and darker… I bet that if someone could read my mind but never see me they might think I was emo.

News:

-I am now certified in First Aid.
-I am busy.
-Life is good and overwhelming but I know it will pay off.
-I am so busy I’ve got to leave now.

So bye,

Alex Violet

PS No time to give you a good video from YouTube (plus several have the audio ripped off since Prince doesn’t like people appreciating his music by doing covers) but I completely recommend going to playlist.com and looking up “When Doves Cry” since it has been stuck in my head for the past two or three days since it is AWESOMAZING.

Believe Anything is Possible

No, you’re not going crazy. You did not miss the other sonnets, I just never really posted them. Well, I posted one of them. But still.
Here’s another.

Meaning of Life
By Alex Violet

This world is a thousand jumps, learning to fly;
Awaiting on the day flight replaces fall.
So many times I have asked ‘why’,
Only to realize there is no meaning at all.
Who says you need a reason to want to be glad?
No one really knows what’s good for us after the end.
But I know I don’t want to live my life always mad.
I try to live it to the fullest, praying I’ll be a legend
Like the ones that make history and stretch possibility.
Who says you need a single bold meaning,
To live every second with pronounced dignity,
When every little thing brings you the feeling:
That even if this is all there is to it,
Maybe or even definitely, it’s 100% worth it.

Sorry if I offended anyone. Really and truly, I’m pretty sure I believe in heaven. Maybe not hell, though. I would think if you make (a) mistake(s), God would give you a second chance and you might be reincarnated over and over again. My dad once told me that there was a religion where they believed that the later your birthday was in the year, the more times you’d been reincarnated.

But really, I don’t mean to dictate my belief(s) to anyone. With that poem, I just meant to say that life is worth everything, every mistake and adventure and thing to be proud of.

Even if there isn’t anything after it, (I’m not saying there is, I’m not saying there isn’t) then “maybe or even definitely, it’s 100% worth it.”

I’m saying not to be afraid of indulgence, because no one truly KNOWS (we believe, we don’t know) what happens after this. (‘This’ being a living being’s life span.)

I’m sorry I didn’t write so much throughout the week, but I’ve actually been getting out of the apartment. I went on several walks, yesterday a 2-hour one with my friend and her sister around their neighbourhood. I very much love their neighbourhood as it is one with several farms and old-ish houses. (Some, I said, are haunted.) It was brutally warm out, but the breeze made it a zillion times better.
The day before that, Buddy and I played a couple of playground games with three neighbourhood kids. We played Grounders, Sardines, and Emperor. Before Emperor, some jerks who used to bully Buddy last year came around and started calling us (us as in all of us playing playground games) nerds at the top of their lungs.
So I yelled back, “DAMN RIGHT, BUT WE’RE THE AWESOMAZINGEST NERDS YOU’LL EVER MEET!!!”
And Buddy backed me up.

So overall I’ve been having a great week and tomorrow I’m going to visit my Grandparents. Who rule, by the way.

Alex Violet

Do you want to read my third sonnet?

Pushing Freedom
Alex Violet

Do you ever wake up and to yourself you say,
“Today what they think of me doesn’t matter.
I refuse to define myself that way.”
But the more they talk, you just get madder…
If I do what they say is right,
I have given up my own voice,
For their ethics are not airtight,
And I should get the power of my own choice.
“You cannot carry the weight of the world on your shoulders,”
The wise ones say. “Sometimes you need to let go.”
But the things I let go crash louder than boulders,
Though the relief that comes with them is good to know.
Now that I’ve been given my freedom,
I look back at my troubles and think, who needed ’em?

The key to my heart and soul, right thur’. 😛

I don’t really have the time to make a super-duper long and elaborate entry (I’ve sort of let my to-do list accumulate a little too much and am just getting around to crossing stuff off) but I thought I should give you some words. I wrote that sonnet last night. Stayed up until 11:20pm or something. Didn’t really read since I had been writing one of my new books all after-school minus pathfinders.

By the way guys, I’ve started 5 more books on top of my main one. I think it’ll be easier for me now, though, because I get to choose which one to work on depending on my mood. Within the past two days I’ve been working on my vampire one though. Another has a ghost and another has time travel. I love it because I’m finally fufilling thoughts I only entertained beforehand. It feels more natural having more stories on the go and writing whenever I feel like working a certain story. I can only focus if I’m distracted.

Also, I just finished watching American Idol, and I think I should say Shioban Magnus is my favourite. 🙂 SHE WILL DOMINATE. You see, I coulda said ‘win’ but ‘DOMINATE’ sounds cooler.

Busy but happy,

Alex Violet

PS I did course selections today. Tell you ’bout them later.